The
scripture says that sin and the entire human race came through one man that we
are born in sin and must answer to its power. Ask yourself whether your
predisposition to doubt is inherent. What about the hardening of your heart
under stress, the proclivity to seek reassurance from others, the inability to
sit still? The only reason many come to realize the truth of their slavery to
the world through doubt is the suffering it causes them. Sadly some never do
realize it, not ever. Not because they cannot but because they will not.
The
"insight" of the fallen nature rises from animal instincts awakened
by the pressure of doubt. The self that is thus awakened by doubt becomes
addicted to doubt, and emotionality and overreacting support this doubt. The
doubt that made you a wrong person causes you to doubt again. This time you
will doubt that you are wrong, and you will develop a false temporal sense of
worth and confidence. You sense that doubt is a sin and that makes you afraid
to doubt so you never want to doubt yourself again. The trouble is that in
believing in "yourself”, you believe in an alien self, the one doubt
created.
Your
newfound confidence only reinforces the fallen condition. It is the same as
doubting the truth again. This is why psyching yourself up, believing in
yourself, being accepted and loved by others all lead to guilt and anxiety. It
is the wrong kind of confidence, you see, as it was engendered by the original
fall from faith into doubt.
Good
feelings are nothing but the spirit of the lie at work. Emotion seduces you
into doubting the truth, strengthening the dark side of yourself. Strong,
emotional feelings are strangely reassuring to the dark self, the only self we
will ever know once doubt has overcome faith and thus separated us from our
conscience. Doubt creates emotion that connects you to the source of your sin
nature, and emotion thus connected makes you doubt the truth and gives you a
false faith. The result is most apparent when the feeling you are experiencing
comes from what you think is love.
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