Many
kinds of situations can trigger an all-out food binge on the part of a compulsive
over-eater but they all have one common cause, emotion. If we were not so traumatized
by past and present resentments, we could not possibly behave in a compulsive
way. We would be completely free to make the wise choice in every moment. As it
is, though, it seldom occurs to us to question our "right" to resent
the people who offend us in some way, even though they may be completely
unaware of the effect they are having on us. So we have piled resentment on
resentment until it has become our standard answer to the vicissitudes of life.
Before
we can hope to make any headway in our battle of the bulge, we must understand
the importance of giving up resentment, with it will go the feelings of
emptiness, strange cravings and restlessness. You must see clearly that
resentment is the very heartbeat of all your troubles and my job in the
following pages will be to convince you that this is so.
Surely
you have noticed that every time you get upset, you tend to overeat. The reason
for this is twofold. On one hand it provides escape. Escape that is, from the
guilt you might feel if you did not allow your emotions to have their way with
you. On the other hand, the act of eating, by its very nature, offers an escape
fulfillment, a spiritual renewal of "life”. All compulsive behavior
provides us that escape and renewal but if we were not resentful, we would have
no need to escape or to be "renewed”. Resentment rises from ego's failure
to find grace in its day-to-day dealings with life. Indeed, resentment is the
rejection of God's love, creating a need for sensual love.
If
we were graced with perfect faith in our Creator, putting no other gods before
him, we might find our worldly environment to be puzzling on many occasions but
under no circumstances could it have a traumatic effect on us. All traumas
introduce into the un-redeemed psyche something of itself, so no matter who or
what it is, it becomes part of us. We identify with it love-hatefully and are
attracted to it by means of the "seed" it has planted in us.
Forevermore, unless we find Salvation, the "it" in us will respond to
and grow from the "it" (the original trauma) that gave birth to it.
Before we ever find the opportunity to become God's children, we become,
willingly or unwillingly, children of the culture that has claimed us by
injecting its "values" into us.
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