A thought
has no doubt flashed across your mind when observing a woman heavy with child:
"I know what she's been up to," as though you were somehow condemning
or condoning the evidence. It is one thing to hear about babies being born, and
yet another to witness it first-hand. It is pure shock to the psyche.
Now why should a perfectly normal, natural
thing like having a baby affect us like that? Why should the way we arrive in
the world be such an embarrassment? Could it just be that we are observing the
way we come in the light of where we have fallen or descended from? Could it be
that our natural origin shames us in the light of the other, more spiritual
one? And could it be that the shock, the embarrassment, is an awakening? It so
happens that anything you do wrong has a similar effect.
Guilt is experienced when the evidence of your sin awakens you to the conflict
between what you have become and what you were before you sinned. What I am
trying to say is that whatever sin is, it causes physical changes and that is
what causes conflict in the observer.
The sin-self is made up of evolved animal
stuff, dependent upon external triggers. The more you add sin to sin (respond
to ego-reassuring, reinforcing sources), the more you see a creature-life rise
up in you. Now, if for some reason your creature-self were denied stimulation
and isolated from the tease and temptation of pressure, then you might stop
compensating and growing. It could make you feel as though you were dying, and
the awakening to dreaded Reality might also drive you mad.
Children, being first of nature, then of
Spirit, need that natural stimulation to develop their animal selves; emotionally
mature adults should not-they ought to be giving up the childish, self-seeking
ego life. Only vain people are driven to emotional adventures after growing up.
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