The Confusing Woman and the Confounded Man
According to the degree of
his selfishness, a man draws to himself an appropriate mate who is both his
punishment and his salvation. If he refuses to learn, she plays a part in his
damnation but if the torment in his soul awakens him, she becomes the
instrument of his salvation.
The relationship between a
man and woman will be shallow, based on romantic deceptions or deep, depending
upon what they want out of it. If all they want is to use each other to glorify
selfish needs and cravings, their relationship will be shallow but true
marriage is a deep experience between partners willing to set aside childish
wants.
What good is a relationship
if we cannot help one another grow, if we put stumbling-blocks in one another's
way, if we block communication for selfish motives? What's the point of talking
if we never talk on a meaningful level about questions of right and wrong, of
principle? When you complain that you can't communicate, what are you really
saying? Do you honestly care about other people? When you point out some fault,
do you sincerely mean to be helpful and take the time to explain where you
think the person is going wrong? Do you want to be understood? Or is your
purpose to confuse others (in the guise of straightening them out) about what
they may see in you? Who is blocking whom?
A sick relationship begins with a
male's fascination with a female who "understands" his "needs”.
In every relationship, you
will have one of the following combinations:
1.
Two
hopelessly selfish swine.
2.
Two
selfish people who would be otherwise if they knew how.
3. One
hopelessly selfish swine and one selfish person who would be otherwise if he
knew how.
Let's rule out two
hopelessly selfish swine, because there is absolutely no chance of communicating
with them. I say leave them alone to let them eat each other alive. I am
writing to be read by those in the second category, whose selfishness comes
from ignorance, who are crying out for understanding and who are emotionally
entangled simply because they don't know any better way. In the third instance
where there is one sensible, seeking person and one hopelessly selfish swine,
the seeker must learn a calm objectivity to survive the mad accusations and
distorting of facts. He must see through the pretense of caring that is used to
confuse him and needless to say, he must steadfastly protect the children.
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