The Case of the Wicked Loving Father
CALLER:
I am 17 and I am a senior in high school. My parents are divorced, and a lot of
times I feel like they're playing head games with me. My mom doesn't live here
anymore and I've been forced to live with my father. My mom moved out. My dad
lives with me now and it's kind of like I've been forced to live with him
because my mom and I don't get along together.
ROY:
Yes, go on.
CALLER:
He's got a girlfriend and I get pressures from him to act certain ways around
her.
ROY:
Of course your father is out of order and is setting a bad example for you. And
I'm sure you resent that, don't you?
CALLER:
Yes.
ROY:
Don't resent him. Just observe that this is not a proper example to set for
anyone.
CALLER:
I do. I observe a lot of what my parents do to me.
ROY:
But don't resent them for it. Every inordinate form of behavior, outrageous
form of behavior, immoral form of behavior, is a temptation for you to judge
and hate. To survive this unjust environment you must discover the difference
between discerning and judging. In other words, what I want you to do—and I
want you to make a practice of this for the rest of your life—is to discern,
unemotionally, your father's bad example, or anyone's for that matter, and
allow resentment to pass.
CALLER:
He uses me to make himself feel like the father that he is not.
ROY:
That is the temptation. But you have an alternative. Observe calmly his wicked
use of you, lest it become a temptation to judge. He may spoil you with money
to buy your respect. Tell me, how does he use you?
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