November 29, 1968
DEALING WITH HALLUCINATION
AND FACING REALITY
When
that pressure, shock, or excitement is withdrawn you sense a discomfort on
different levels. Spiritually you feel lonely;
mentally you feel lost, uncertain, unsure; physically, you ache from
need. You will feel anxious and guilty
over what you have become, and needful for what you have lost. There will be
such a painful emptiness left after this rape of our minds that we can come to
identify the intruder as the friend that we need, and then welcome him back
again with increasing need.
We
cannot at this point adequately identify what we have lost via pressure,
because only what we have lost at that moment can properly identify anything.
We tend to reach blindly for something to fill that emptiness, so as to remain
free from the anxiety the intruder introduced. We may climb the walls,
so-to-speak, unless we get that "familiar" emotional support again.
The
memories that remain from that experience are of the "intruder" - so
when he comes again he is "familiar" and "filling"; but he
leaves, making you more desperate and dependent upon his presence in the
future. The fact is that some people are
not "happy" unless they are constantly upset, and will marry a
substitute intruder-mother or father, without whom they are nothing.
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