All others know how to make the
"selfish one" feel important, producing guilt in him through
aggravation. For example, they will
thrust some "responsibility" upon him, as with an unlikely story of
"a sick wife in the hospital, and no money”.
This causes the victim to be upset because
of the unwelcome burden, and consequently guilty, because he is upset. He now
compensates for this feeling of guilt, (which makes him feel inferior), by moving to ease his pain through
the "joy of giving”. The pleasure of this type of giving is derived
through the ease of pressure, as well as the opportunity to call this
"feeling”, as well as himself, "good”.
Without great love and self-control,
derived from consistent meditation, any giving is an agony, for it tears away
part of ourselves in the process.
Whenever we extend our "benevolence”, it is either
"tricked" out of us by increased-pressure in order to produce guilt;
or we will "give" in order to get back an increased measure of substance,
pleasure, or importance.
Perhaps you are one of those
"soft-touch" people who cannot say "no!" You give-in to
avoid trouble; you do too much for people, and claim that you "enjoy"
it. You say, "I love too much;
that is what is wrong with me!"
Now, one can never "love too much" in the true meaning of
those words - for real love always understands the discrete balance between
"giving" and "denying”.
In other words, it also knows when not to give. Sometimes not-giving is real giving.
By being able to deny our compulsion to
help, we allow others to stand upon their own two feet; we "give"
them strength and self-reliance.
However, the uncontrolled "compulsion-to-give" rises either
from guilt, or from the "excitement" of seeing others in an inferior
position, which then relieves us of inferiority.
Feeling "so sorry" for someone is
elevating, exciting, and moves us to give aid.
People who know how to "move" you in this way are even more
disabled by their "success" with you, and you are drained of strength, as they grow lazily fat
on your weakness. If you had true "compassion" and love, you would
not "feel sorry”. Instead, you
would remain unmoved by any subtle advance, thereby disabling their cunning
approach. Your non-reaction would produce shame and guilt in them - Mere it